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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

On How I Am Growing Old

Age 1
With Parents

“Aa aa aa aa. Waaaan waaaaan. Ummmaa, Bubbbaaa. Gollooo.”


Age 4
With Guys
“Hey, what did you bring for lunch?”
“Biscuits with jam.”
“Let’s pull that girl’s hair.”
“No, let’s not, we’ll get into trouble. She is no sport, she’ll complain to the teacher. Let’s pull that girl’s.”
“No point.”
“Ok, you try pulling. I know you cannot.”
“What if I do?”
“I’ll give you a biscuit.”

With Girls

Age 12

With Guys
“Hey, what did that girl tell you?”
“Why should I tell you?”
“Tell, please. You know I never talked with any girl, what with this being boys’ school and all. You have. Teach me how to.”
“What do I get out of it?”
“I’ll give you half my food, and let you play with my console.”

With Girls
“Hi. I am.. I am.. I am.. Bye, talk to you later.”

Age 20
With Guys
“Man, what will happen to the immigration checks? Our Masters and H1Bs are doomed.”
“Yes man.”
“Hmm. Let’s go play cricket”
“Wait, let’s get some food first.”

With Girls
“Look at the stars, oh so beautiful. Look at that flower, oh so beautiful. Look at the sky, oh so beautiful. Yadda yadda yadda”

Age 25
With Guys & Gals
“What did you do yesterday night?”
“Ate a lot of food. My roommate cooked rajma-chawal.”
“Man, you are becoming fat. You should watch your calories.”
“Yes. I have been trying to walk for 10 minutes everyday.”
“Good. I also do a bit of jogging and yoga.”
“You should play racquetball, I heard ABC say he lost 3 lbs after a two-hour game.”
“Wow, thanks for the tip.”
“No problem. Let’s go get some food.”


When you start talking about calories and stuff with your friends, you have become old.